TEB Book Review: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willing & Leif Babin

Over the Christmas holiday, I saw a documentary about the space race and the challenges the NASA leaders had with getting a man on the moon. One of the biggest obstacles was managing this team of rocket scientists was designing a space craft that could withstand the heat and pressured caused by friction as it re-entered earth’s atmosphere. At a time when the entire world was thinking about exploring the stars, NASA brought together one of the most amazing teams every assembled, and they were obsessed about friction.

Friction is a factor in any race and, if it is not dealt with properly, can cause disastrous outcomes. Friction in business is often called conflict, and nowhere is conflict more troublesome than in the most amazing team that you have assembled. Conflict can not be avoided, but today’s entrepreneur must be a leader that is equipped to deal with it and ensure that it does not destroy the team. Here are 4 lessons that I have see amazing entrepreneurs apply when dealing with conflict:

1. Build the team before conflict arises

The strongest teams that I have been on have always been more than a group of people that are working together to achieve a goal. Many of us spend more waking hours with our work teammates than we do with our family. An effective leader uses that time to encourage a safe environment that allows the members to get to know and respect one another. This allows everyone to have a stronger bond of commitment when conflict does arise.

2. Deal with conflict quickly

I once had a roommate that started to come down with the flu just a week before the Texas A&M vs University of Texas football game. My buddy was so excited for the game, but he was also in denial of his sickness. As you may have guessed, he ignored how he was feeling and refused to see a doctor. Over the next few days, he felt worse and worse until he could take it no longer. When he did finally go see the doctor, he was told that he had pneumonia and would have to spend the weekend in bed and miss the game. If he would have just handled his sickness quickly, he could have seen the Aggies beat the hell out of the Longhorns in person. Conflict is just like my buddies cold – you feel worse, it gets more serious and more painful to overcome the longer you ignore it.

3.  Lay ground rules

One of the greatest pieces of marriage advice that Sarah and I (who have been married 17 years as of last Saturday) is that everyone needs to learn how to fight fair. Conflict is going to arise in your marriage and your workplace, as a leader you must empower your team to deal with conflict themselves and to do it in a fair manner. My favorite ground rules of conflict are:

• Always respect the person, even if you don’t respect what they did or say. You must always remember that you are on the same team and that the bedrock of a team is respect.
• Listen more than you talk. I am sure that you have learned by now that God gave you two ears and one mouth – so use them in proportion to each other.
• Attack the issue, not the person. Seeking resolution is not easy. Sometimes it can quite literally be a fight. Remember that you and the other person are on the same team (see lesson number 1) and attack the issue, not the person.
• It is ok to disagree. Most of the time, you are not going to convince the other person that they are 100% wrong and you are 100% right, and that is ok. What you should lead your team in, is the revelation that even if you disagree – you can still be on the same team and conflict can be resolved without complete agreement.

4. The leader is responsible for 100% of the conflict his or her team experiences.

This does not mean that the leader is the cause of the conflict, but rather an understanding and accepting of accountability for EVERYTHING that happens to their team. I love it when Gary Vaynerchuk says that he is responsible for everything that happens to all 600+ employees of VanerMedia. By accepting responsibility of 100% of everything (to include conflict) he is committed to ensuring that his team is prepared. Prepared to crush the competition, prepared to bring extreme value to their customers and prepared to deal with conflict whenever and wherever it arises.

Dealing with conflict is not fun; but then again you are an entrepreneur of a company that is running strong and growing at an amazing pace, and that is not always fun. Learning to deal with conflict and leading your team through conflict, while not fun, is extremely rewarding. You did not start your company to lose, so don’t allow conflict to beat you.

Being an entrepreneur is one of the most difficult and demanding things you can do. The good news is that entrepreneurship today is a team sport. Hit the connect button on LinkedIn or Facebook NOW and together we will start maximizing your profit, strengthening your leadership skills, controlling your business finances and using your bank as a strategic advantage. When we connect, tell me about the time you led your team through conflict successfully (or not) and how did you grow as a leader.

Greg Martin is an entrepreneur’s insider to the banking industry and passionately believes that every person was uniquely designed for a higher purpose and calling. Greg guides entrepreneurs in defining and achieving their purpose and calling. His deepest passion is living life with his wife of 17 years and their wonderful son.